If you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy and colorful and lively.”
-Mel Brooks


Het List

10 things you didn’t know about women

1. If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.

2. When you tell us about a business lunch you had with a woman, it’s a good idea to tell us that she’s fat, ugly, old, or a lesbian. Preferably all of them.

3. PMS is real. It’s chemical, and it sucks. If someone told you that every thirty days you were going to get jacked repeatedly in the nuts, you’d be pissy around day twenty-six, too.

4. When we say, “I don’t feel connected,” the only appropriate response is, “I feel it, too. Let’s go out for a nice dinner and reconnect.” Try it. You will get laid.

5. If you can locate the following items in our home—tape, casserole dish, Christmas ornaments—you will get laid.

6. If you act excited about the bath mat we bought at Target, you will get laid.

7. We really want to have kids. That is, until you want to have kids. Then: “Hey, slow down. What about my career? It’s my body. I’m not just a depository for your sperm, you know. Fuck off. Wait, come back. I’m sorry about that. It’s sweet you want to have kids. Let’s talk about it in a year.”

8. You know what’s really gay? Football. Instead of watching it, just have sex with another dude once a year. Get it all out of your system at once.

9. We can make a “celebrity safe list” if you want. But I am way more likely to get Patrick Dempsey to fuck me in a bathroom than you are to get Lindsay Lohan to suck you off in your car.

10. Okay, wait. Maybe not Lindsay Lohan. But you know what I mean.

Would you believe? Esquire, Jenna Fischer stars in NBC’s The Office and in the upcoming figure-skating comedy Blades of Glory.

Sin Big!

Mary Daly,
who writes in her book Lust:
Sin Big!

What she means is this:
In any social system,
those in power have power over many things.
Including language and religion.
And so,
to keep their power,
they label as sins those things which might lead to change.
Sin is a way of enforcing the way things are.
Sin is a way of saying,
don’t rock the boat.

Matthew Johnson-Doyle, minister, activist, soon-to-be dad, religious liberal, puzzle-lover and Colorado Springs resident. Write me at minister AT


Blatant sexualization of young girls

Broken Flower
I love romantic Paris
Picture of Cherry
Spoil Me
Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n Roll
Piping Hot
I Dream of You
The Crack of Dawn

Public: Anti –
Don’t support the stores, boycott them, companies who do this shouldn’t have to wait for a response from the public, companies shouldn’t want to do it, retailers shouldn’t buy them from manufacturers, companies cannot plead ‘public demand’ because they are part of our community and they should say ‘no’; Pro – Chill
Woolworths: Thanks for the feedback, Woolworths have the least suggestive
UK: Little Miss Naughty range withdrawn after complaints
Childline: Paedophiles perceive that children come onto them

Outlines and voice

  • We talked about various ways of building an outline, and looked at the way I was using yWrite’s scene description area. Or you can use an MSWord document, on the left the character, and on the right a phrase to describe the scene. Not more than one line to describe. The outline is fluid.
  • And about the difficulty of maintaining one voice over the 15 years it is going to take to write the book. Short stories each can have their own voice.
  • And about the necessity of reading Fight Club to aid in the thinking about voice.
  • Our assignment is to write a six word story, e.g. Ernest Hemingway was once prodded to compose a complete story in six words. His answer, was “For sale: baby shoes, never used.”


  • Listen. Try and make out when people just want to talk, then just listen. Yesterday I didn’t look like I was listening, and I didn’t spend enough time listening, but I learned lots nonetheless. I could have learned more had I just shut up.
  • Don’t get emotional. It’s just business. Don’t bounce enthusiastically off the walls. I am naturally positive and enthusiastic, I like that about myself, I want to be that. I do have to keep the bouncing down to a loud roar, though.
  • Expertise is not as important as loyalty. People are going to choose other people to do the work over you, despite the fact that you can do it better. Even if they have to complain daily to their boss that they have to spend so much time micromanaging the new people that they can’t get their own job done. They won’t even complain. They won’t even think it’s a problem because then are exercising their loyalty and that feels good. I do the loyalty thing too sometimes, and it is really just a once off thing that I look for expertise in. Working with people you know and like is nicer.
  • Conversely, bosses would rather work with someone they have a history with, someone predictable, than try something new. This can be a good thing if the people they are working with are the ones with the expertise, proven.

Flashback Friday

Cinnamon Gurl sparked this off. Thanks. Each week the Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition will feature a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. I love having guest bloggers. If you have a story you want to tell and you want to be a guest blogger here, please email me; or feel free to link to your own story in the comments.

Hairy consequence

Ooh they hate the hair. I think that must be the single biggest objection. Most ‘soft’ feminists think it is an abdication of feminity to not shave. Well, duh. And ‘hard’ feminists wouldn’t take you seriously if you were hairless. I know I have to work extra hard myself in that situation to overcome my own susceptibility to the stereotypes. And rest assured, I have found a space in my mind for accepting shaven radicallesbianseparatists.

Although, generally, I would fight in the streets for women’s right to shave – if I can just stress that the decision to shave would have to be an informed decision. I cannot fight in the streets so that women can make uninformed decisions. I would fight in the streets for the right of women to spit at the notion that shaving their hair takes them into a pre-pubescent, pre-sexual, pre-self-controlled-sexuality state.

At least pornography has introduced ubiquitously large, firm breasts into the heterosexual situation. Previous to these ageless protrusions, men wanted small-breasted model types – who looked like boys. So then men’s ‘heterosexuality’ meant ‘desire to bonk young, hairless, powerless, boys’.

Next: Fake breasts
Next: Women-only communities